A family counselor once said, ‘It’s not the arguments that should worry married couples; it’s what happens when the battles are over.”

Almost all families experience conflict from time to time, which is not necessarily unhealthy for relationships. Husbands and wives argue, parents and children get into disagreements, and siblings might have a verbal spat from time to time. A verbal spat that stays within reasonable limits can open the windows and give families, especially married couples, a chance to vent their frustrations and release some steam.

The important question, however, is what happens after an argument is over?

In healthy relationships, confrontation ends in forgiveness, in drawing closer together, in deeper respect and understanding, and sometimes (in the case of married couples) in greater physical intimacy. But if the family unit is unstable, conflict is never entirely resolved. This is a very dangerous situation where the consequences of one battle begin to overlap with a prelude to the next.

It’s a good idea for families to take a closer look at what happens in the aftermath of confrontation.

Are there things that you’ve said or done that have grieved your loved one?

Do you need to ask forgiveness for attacking the self-worth of your a family member instead of focusing on the issues that divided you?

Are there important matters that haven’t yet been resolved?

If so, deal with them quickly before they can fester and erode the relationship from within. The apostle Paul understood this principle clearly. ‘…don’t sin by letting anger control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’ He wrote these words two millennia ago, but they’re still sound advice for today.

‘…Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.’

Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT


John 14:23; 15:9; 1 John 4:7-13

If anyone loves Me, he will keep my word, & my Father will love him & we will come to him & make our home with him!

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.

Abide in my love!

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, & whoever loves has been born of God & knows God!

God is love!

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him!

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us & sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins!

If we love one another, God abides in us & His love is perfected in us!

By this we know that we abide in Him & Him in us, because He has given us of His Spirit!

The language of heaven is love & all of God’s children learn to speak this language! Let us love one another today!

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