Give Each Other Space
To be happy in a relationship, you must give each other space. And you have to be secure to do that.
Someone said (and we’ve all heard this!), ‘If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it’s yours for life. If it doesn’t, it was never yours in the first place.’ When you constantly crave someone’s affection and try to cling to them, you create the very thing you dread – distance. By overreaching, you drive them away.
Just as a drowning person grabs anything that floats, including their rescuer, a panic-stricken lover tries to hold on to the one who’s attempting to escape. That makes them even more frantic to get away.
The story’s told of a guy who wanted to date a beautiful girl but she turned him down. He decided that the way to her heart was through the mail, so he began writing her a love letter every day. When she didn’t respond, he increased it to three letters a day. In all, he wrote more than seven hundred letters in a single summer. Not only did his plan not work – she married the postman!
Appearing too anxious and available will drive the other person away rather than attracting them to you. Love is like a plant; when you smother it, it dies, but when you give it air, it thrives. There’s only one person who can ‘fix’ you, and that’s God. As you become more spiritually healthy you’ll become more emotionally healthy, and when that happens you’re more apt to find your needs being met. Paul bottom-lines it: ‘Love cares more for others than for self.’
‘Love cares more for others than for self.’ 1 Corinthians 13:4 MSG