Engaged couples have expectations about marriage that are never verbalized. As a result, conflict becomes inevitable when those differing assumptions collide. So if you’re wise, you’ll talk about these understandings in the less antagonistic light of courtship.

Psychologist, Dr. Archibald Hart, asks the following questions of couples who consult with him:

1) If I had never met the person you’re planning to marry and I had to rely on you to give me a description of who that individual is, what would you tell me?

2) If you could think of one thing that you would like to see your fiancé change, what would it be?

3) What are the five or six major goals you have established for your first few years together?

4) What does your budget look like?

5) Have you planned how you’re going to pay for the things you’re going to buy beyond your honeymoon?

These are tough questions but if you can’t agree on them before you’re married, you’re certain to argue over them afterwards. Since half of all marriages today end in divorce, you’d better be sure you know the answers.

The biggest mistake you can make is assuming that your future husband or wife will automatically change for the better as a result of being married to you. ‘…Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs… Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them…’ (1 Peter 3:1-7 TM). So before tying the knot, be prepared!

‘…to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord….’  1 Corinthians 7:10 NKJV

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